How can crappy Dr. Scholl’s cost more than My Beloved Birkies?

More than 40 years ago, I had an affair with a guy named Dr. Scholl. He’d come up with this exercise sandal that was a wooden knockoff of the original Birkenstock model, the Madrid, fashioned from cork and leather. A cheap alternative.

We were inseparable through two summers of clomping and flopping up the stairs, one the bike, through the grocery story. Dad hated him — er, them — referred to as “Those Damn Woods.”

He threw them out the car window after a particularly exasperating driving lesson.

I took my sweet time, but I finally got around to buying the real deal. Worth the wait. Love my Birkies.

But can this be? Just looked up Dr. Scholl’s on Amazon. Retail for the wooden version is $88? The version with a “flexible solid unit footbed,” what we used to refer to as “Plastics,” is 40 bucks? How can these pretenders be so pretentious.

I’m lovin’ my $79.95 Madrids even more.

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